Malibu Sally

Dearest KDR,

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why do they keep singing about it?

Please, none of the usual "humans are fools" nonsense. I want a well thought out, reasoned reply. Since you drone without end about your superior processing abilities, this should be an easy one. Or will you just ignore my request and blather your typical buffoonish mantras about the frailty and stupidity of humanity?

Hugs and Kisses,
Malibu Sally

To Malibu Sally,

You (a human) ask me a stupid question about an illogical song (written by humans) and expect me not to remark upon the idiocy of humans?

Parameters: accepted. Let us examine the possible reasons that a human would vocalize melodically about a subject which he purports to care about not at all.

It is entirely possible that this human is lying. Perhaps the cracking of corn by means of Jimmy is in fact significant to this human in some way, but he does not wishe that significance known. Or perhaps the significance is already known to the intended audience and this human is simply posturing to make himself seem stronger and more viable as a mate.

It is possible that the human is trying to convey that while he once may have cared in regards to the cracking of corn by Jimmy, he no longer does. This may or may not be true.

It is possible that cracking corn is normally a greivous offense, but this singing human wishes Jimmy to know that no ill will is felt. (Sentimental fleshwads!)

It is possible that the singing human is insane or otherwise mentally deficient (more so than the normal human).

However, my calculations show that the most likely reason for this song's continued existence is that humans value pleasing sounds over meaningful content in a song. The fact that the singer does not care most likely has more to do with the hard consonant at the beginning of the word matching with that of crack and corn than it does with making any sense.

Crushings and Laser Beams,
KillerDeathRobot

P.S. Humans are frail and stupid.

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advice@killerdeathrobot.com

KDR: End of Transmission

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