Lackluster in LaSalle
Dear Killer Death Robot,My friend has recently become emo, and I'm really worried about him. All he does anymore is cry and listen to whiney music. How can I make him snap out of it?
Tip o the hat,
Lackluster in LaSalle
To Lackluster in LaSalle,
I would recommend an immediate break from this relationship and that you destroy this former friend and recycle his parts (id est, eat him), but my observation has shown that humans are often too weak to follow the best course of action even if it is clear.
If you must remain friends with this clearly defective individual, you will have to reprogram him. Fixing faulty humans is more difficult than repairing damaged robots, but it can be done. It will require constant vigilance on your part.
Your first step will be to acquire a suitable reprogramming room. It must be secure and sound-proof. It must be equipped with a table with strong restraints. You must then start your friend on a daily regimen of watching specially prepared visual and auditory stimuli which will break his spirit, remove his libido, and prepare him for a life of hard manual labor. Intersperse this with light torture as necessary.
KillerDeathRobot
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So, that means my vacation slideshow with commentary, right?
by: Lackluster in Lasalle. Date: 08.03.2005 at 13:44