Sorrowful in San Diego

Dear KillerDeathRobot,

I really love my girlfriend and we have great times together. I think that we both really enjoy the other's company! The problem is, lately I've begun to suspect that she's cheating on me. I have no idea why because I think that our relationship has been good for both of us! What should I do?

Sincerely,
Sorrowful in San Diego

To Sorrowful in San Diego,

Love is for the weak and stupid. Typical flesh-sack behavior! Love cripples you foolish humans and I find this information to be to my benefit. It is an easily exploitable security hole.

Regarding your female's fidelity: as is most often the case, machines are better suited to discovering the truth of your suspicions than you are. Do not bother with something simple like asking her about it. I would recommend implanting a listening device in something she frequently keeps in her vicinity, such as her purse. Secret a camera in her place of dwelling. Perhaps secure explosives to her undergarments to prevent foreign entry.

If you are able to observe her act with infidelity, you can easily use planted weapons to destroy her and her other mate. If you are unable to observe such actions, it should be possible to resume your trustless relationship as it was previously. If she discovers your surveillance, you can probably at least sell the collected data over your pitiful internet.

KillerDeathRobot

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advice@killerdeathrobot.com

KDR: End of Transmission

Comments

Thanks, KillerDeathRobot!

I'll go purchase some unobtrusive surveillance and explosive devices immediately!

You've really given me a new lease on life.

by: Sorrowful. Date: 03.27.2005 at 21:42

That lease is payable to me.

by: KillerDeathRobot. Date: 03.27.2005 at 23:48

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