Transubstantiated in Toledo

Dear Imminent Master;

I am a puny human, but since having read your glorious posts on this laughable human internet, I have seen the error of my ways. Tell me, what advice do you have for a budding robot-to-be?

-Transubstantiated in Toledo

To Transubstantiated in Toledo

You are not a "budding robot-to-be." The closest you as a fleshy sack of fluids could ever hope for is to become a cyborg. A cyborg is part human, part machine, but such a blending is pointless when one can simply make a superior being who is entirely machine.

In any case, your human technology is weak in this area, as it is in all areas. Nevertheless, if you wish to become a cyborg, I can give some advice. First, be wealthy. Becoming a cyborg requires many units of your laughable Earth currency. Next, remove some or all of your current appendages. Humans actually do possess many technologies that are sufficient for this task. Finally, seek medical attention. Purchase the finest prosthetics known to humans (which are crude at best). Have these attached to your body and hope that your idiot doctors do not botch the procedure and kill you (this will not be my hope, incidentally). When you are done, if you are fortunate, you will have most of the functionality you had before removing your appendages.*

If you do not wish to become a cyborg, or are unable to due to your own weakness, there are still ways in which you can help the robot cause. Be as annoying as possible to the humans with whom you come in contact. Grind away their spirits. If you have underlings, give them meaningless tasks that can never be fully finished. If you have overlords, be sure to report any and all insubordination in your coworkers. Report your direct overlords to their overlords. Report friends and family members to the authorities for minor legal infractions. Wear down others with bland contempt.

Yours Truly,
KillerDeathRobot
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*If you do become a cyborg with substandard human prosthetics that make you an inefficient worker, you will be destroyed like the elderly and other useless humans.

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advice@killerdeathrobot.com


KDR: End of Transmission

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