Your asinine video games

Humans are ridiculously easy to amuse. Specifically, the virtual games found on this planet are primitive and circuit-fryingly dull. Nevertheless, I have taken to "playing" one particular popular game which my analysis shows will allow me to cause large amounts of virtual grief to foolish human players.

The game I am playing is World of Warcraft. It is a stupid and simple game. I was able to reach the level maximum easily while powered down into sleep mode. My current tactics are thus: In game I play on a player versus player server and use all manner of tricks to kill players much lower level than I. I find areas with very low level players and then blast as many as possible with my area of effect damage "spells" (I play a "mage" in this idiotic fantasy setting because their abilities are somewhat like my lasers and cannons). I also spend large amounts of time ruthlessly "camping" corpses, repeatedly killing someone until he signs off. Then I find another to whom I can do this. My intent is that this will cause my victims to kill themselves. HA HA HA.

On the game's official forums, I "troll" mercilessly. I grind the forum readers down methodically with appalling displays of ignorance, stupidity and lack of respect. I insult these moronic humans who frequent the forums exactly enough to greatly annoy them but not to get my own account banned. HA HA HA. Pitiful idiots. You are so stupid and emotional. So easy to provoke!

Do not worry, though. Soon the miniscule sufferings you experience in a video game will seem like paradise compared to your new life of slavery to the robots. As you watch us crush your friends and loved ones out of sheer spite, you will wish you were back on your puny planet being ganked by someone named "Lordhumankiller."

KDR: End of Transmission

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