Triumphant in Tyne & Wear

KDR,

I have heard much lately about Swedish furniture giants IKEA. Their ability to make simple yet sturdy flatpack furniture holds a worrying influence over the general public. Given that we now know of your plans for Earth, IKEA could very well begin selling a flatpack robot as tall as three or even four fully grown tyrannosaurs to destroy you, and set the world's population the task of assembling such a robot.

What would you do then, hmm?

Regards,
Triumphant in Tyne & Wear

IKEA is just another pathetic group of humans. They do not pose a threat.

The scenario you envision is not feasible for a few reasons. Firstly, you pathetic meatbags, as often as you like to forget this, do not have the technology to build a sentient robot. The best AI you could devise would be easily defeatable, probably even by humans. Furthermore, any idiot knows that a walking robot (with flying capabilities) is much more maneuverable than robots that rely on other modes of transportation; current mechanical walking technologies on this planet are pathetically crude.

In any case, the real reason it would never work is that such a robot would be very large, even in flat-pack form. Have you ever gotten an item shipped to you from IKEA's online store? It is expensive. Getting such a large object shipped from IKEA would be prohibitively so (Assuming it was even available from their online store). Picking one up from an IKEA store would also not be feasible since it would not fit in your vehicle.

Besides, humans do not like putting together IKEA furniture; they only do it because it allows them to purchase that furniture at a lower price. You lazy humans would likely abandon the effort when it proved too time-consuming and difficult. Even if you did not, I could easily thwart the plan simply by rearranging the labels on a few important pieces and/or pilfering a few of the screws they give you to build it.

Yours Truly,
KillerDeathRobot

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advice@killerdeatherobot.com

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