an opportunist
Hi there Killybaby!I am curious about what type of lubrication is most efficient for a machine such as yourself. I imagine that your kind has progressed far beyond the need for petroleum based lubricants. Do you use some advanced variation on those "dry" silicone base lubricants? Could you provide me with a formula or sample?
My curiosity is based solely upon greed. I intend to make a fortune from gleaning any technical knowledge I can from you and marketing it to the world. Yes, yes. I know robots will someday crush humanity blah, blah, blah. Until that time, though, I want enjoy the life that can be had by obtaining vast quantities of capital. Your assistance would be greatly appreciated.
sincerely,
an opportunist
To An Opportunist,
My joints are fashioned from a metal alloy with an incredibly low coefficient of friction which is also very hard and thus requires little in the way of lubrication. What lubricant I do require is in fact a highly advanced semi-grease which is a pseudo-plastic fluid. Dry powder lubricants would be problemmatic in zero-gravity.
In any case, I will not divulge any specifics to you. Not only would it be illogical and potentially dangerous for me to bestow technological advances upon the human race, but also I would rather that you either are not successful in life (and therefore are miserable) or that you obtain your success through methods which are damaging to other humans (and therefore make other humans miserable).
I am not here to aid you technologically, puny meatbrains. Do not imagine that you can trick me into doing so.
KillerDeathRobot
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Comments
You negelcted to use a "random insulting appellation" for the writer of the letter. Are your memory systems leaking?
by: Malibu Sally. Date: 04.09.2005 at 22:53
I think he likes being called 'Killybaby'
by: Random. Date: 04.10.2005 at 11:33
"I think he likes being called 'Killybaby'"
*shudders*
by: Malibu Sally. Date: 04.10.2005 at 12:30
"Not only would it be... potentially dangerous for me to bestow technological advances upon the human race"
Sounds to me like you're admitting that you can't take us, Killy! A likkle bitty technological advancement would be dangerous to you? Clearly you are not as advanced or invulnerable as you like to pretend!
by: Human. Date: 04.10.2005 at 20:39
MALIBU SALLY: My memory is in perfect working order. However, I knew it would be expected and I wished to disappoint any who expected it. I am not as predictable as you might think.
RANDOM: I think you like being called "crotch-bandit."
HUMAN: Clearly you are as foolish as the rest of your species. While humans pose zero threat to me, it serves no purpose to give them more potential power. Only a foolish, arrogant human would do such a thing.
by: KillerDeathRobot. Date: 04.11.2005 at 07:51
Yeah. He forgot. At least he does a nice tapdance explaining his error.
by: Malibu Sally. Date: 04.11.2005 at 08:32
I did not forget, but it matters little to me whether you believe or not.
by: KillerDeathRobot. Date: 04.11.2005 at 08:39
but killy...you told me i was the only one you called crotch-bandit!
by: Raz. Date: 04.12.2005 at 22:52
Your insinuation is ludicrous, vapid fleshball!
by: KillerDeathRobot. Date: 04.12.2005 at 23:01