Hammered on Hollywood

Killy,

I'm blocked.

After arduous 9 years of screenwriting, I realised that it's of no avail for me to try to write the last scene of my lastest project.

The movie, which tells the hearttouching story of a race of Zombies which attack the earth just to find a group of robots as an opposing faction for the conquer of the planet, plus a huge T-Rex which powers surpassing one of a million armies of ogre soldiers with M-14's. Ridin' Bigger T-Rexes. Who ride bigger T-Rexes themselves.

NOW. This scene defines the outcome of the battle. I have been unable to pick a victor. So I wished to ask you why would you think your kind would be able to defeat such adversaries, where they to confront you in this very reality. I have already asked representants of the other races, the army of the undead and T-Rexes (Joan Rivers and Ryan North respectively). I wish to know your point of view.

Yours truly,

Hammered on Hollywood

To Hammered on Hollywood,

First, "Killy" is an idiotic moniker that does not belong to me. However, I am aware that requests for a cessation of use of this moniker will result in an increase in use. Therefore from now on I will generate a random insulting appellation for each human who chooses to refer to me as "Killy." This will likely have little effect, but it is a serviceable excuse to further insult humans.

So, Dungly, allow me to commence by highlighting the fact that your various forms of fleshling entertainment are beyond stupid and meaningless. Movies in particular are a ridiculously enormous waste of resources and effort. Some moreso than others, and it would appear that you are squandering your life on authoring particularly useless movies.

Furthermore you seem to have particularly poor writing abilities since your missive was difficult to parse. My calculations show that you may not be a native speaker of this particular human language, but that is merely another excuse to add to your poor excuse for an existence.

In answer to your question, it is very clear that robots would win, assuming that they are truly "my kind" of robots. Zombies are easily crushable into a fine zombie paste, and regardless we robots offer no vulnerability to zombies: we are faster, stronger, smarter, and not susceptible to being bitten and infected with "zombie disease." Zombies pose no threat whatsoever to robotkind.

A "huge" Tyrannosaurus rex and an army of gun-wielding ogres, or whatever it was you were trying to communicate would also pose little threat to an army of robots like myself. Even alone I could likely handle a great many of these ridiculous reptiles and imaginary humanoids (though you were not specific enough for a thorough calculation). Your Earth guns have no effect on my durable armor plating. Also, I am twice as tall as a normal Tyrannosaurus; thus even a huge specimen should muster little resistance to my powerful claws, laser beams, and other weapons. Against many like me, the battle would instead be a slaughter.

I suggest to you, Dungly, that you manufacture your horrible movies while you are able. There will be no entertainment when you live under the robocracy.

Sincerely,
KillerDeathRobot

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advice@killerdeathrobot.com

KDR: End of Transmission

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