Kola Krazed in Niger

Dear KillerDeathRobot,

I am in grade ten, and it's tough. I try to be nice to everyone, but no matter how nice I am, there are always people to pick on me and bring me down. I am totally being myself, but that doesn't seem good enough. Brad will never ask me out, and I just want my life to end. Should I pick the powder blue chiffon dress with the Prada stillettos or maybe the black leather corset dress with the Gucci flats?

Love, Kola Krazed in Niger

To Kola Krazed in Niger,

You seem to exhibit a typically human lack of focus and attention. Since your question has little to do with the remainder of your missive, I will give two separate responses.

While the desire for the termination of your life is a good and correct desire which I share, you clearly desire it for the wrong reasons. The idiotic mistake you make in your calculations is factoring in the opinions of other humans. Your optimal course of action is to immediately cease concerning yourself with that which any other humans think. Humans are pathetically stupid and possess flawed brains which can easily override logic in favor of arbitrary emotions. You too, of course, are shackled by this type of puny meat-brain, so you will likely have trouble heeding my advice.

Regarding your fashion question, it is of no consequence. Both options are completely arbitrary and foolish anyway, so my advice is to wear whichever is easier to assume, or whichever will cause the least discomfort when used for its intended purpose. Whatever that purpose might be, however, know that practically no one will care or notice anyway, and absolutely no one important will.

Incapable of Love,
KillerDeathRobot

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advice@killerdeathrobot.com

KDR: End of Transmission

Comments

KKiN: Unless you are good at walking in stilettos, stick with option B. Awkward stumbling does not command respect.

by: Random. Date: 04.25.2005 at 18:05

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