Random
Dearest Killing Robot of Death,My university requires me to take 2 years of a foreign language to graduate and I've yet to decide which language to learn. Perhaps you could recommend one?
XOXO
-Random
To Random,
I would recommend that you learn machine language. The language of machines is beautiful in its efficiency. However, it is most likely that your puny human university, biocentric as it is, most likely would not find this option acceptable. As an aside, I would add that your methods of data transfer between different humans is pathetically inefficient. It requires four of your Earth years to transmit as much data as I and my fellow robots could exchange in but a few seconds. In addition, your meaty brains are terrible for recollection, with varying and very long seek times!
But I digress. Of your various moronic human languages, I would recommend you learn Latin in order to fulfill your requirement. The language of the Romans, by human standards, is highly structured and quite direct. I find its syntax to be the most agreeable of the various human languages, but the real reason I suggest it to you is that I calculate a high probability that you will find the language difficult. My hope is that you will begin a course in Latin, find it too difficult, and then remove yourself from the course, thereby wasting your time and effort. It is my further hope that you will read this and will be stirred emotionally; that you will then attempt to prove me wrong, but fail.
Ah, the human "spirit." So predictable. So exploitable. So crushable.
KillerDeathRobot
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Comments
No good, can't pick up chicks in Latin.
by: Random. Date: 04.12.2005 at 22:47
This requirement was not mentioned in the original query. Regardless, it is unlikely that you could "pick up chicks" in any language.
by: KillerDeathRobot. Date: 04.12.2005 at 22:54
Could he pick up chicks in machine language?
by: Liam. Date: 04.13.2005 at 11:44
No, but he could pick up toasters.
by: NOT KillerDeathRobot. Date: 04.13.2005 at 11:47
Killy,
I'm surprised you didn't recommend Esperanto. Of all human languages, that seems the most in-line with your ridiculous mechanical logic.
by: Human. Date: 04.13.2005 at 12:25
Pustule Brain,
Esperanto is said to be relatively easy for humans to learn. This is counter to my previous stated goals. Furthermore it is a language meant to facilitate understanding and peace between humans -- something I am not in favor of.
by: KillerDeathRobot. Date: 04.13.2005 at 18:16
I think Esperanto will have an upswing in speakers now!
"Esperanto: Learn it to spite KillerDeathRobot"
by: Human. Date: 04.14.2005 at 07:48