Ryan
Dear KDR-Hey. I have a question. Do you need anything? Like maybe an assistant, or a side kick or a helper? I have been told I am funny and I make a mean cup of pink lemonade. I would like to offer my services (er, not those kinds of services) if you are at all interested.
I have a resume but I don't know where it is. I promise you it is awesome though, like with tons of awards and schooling. And perhaps even some dangerous love? If you want help, you need say no more then 'I want help' and then I will be there, wearing my clothes, saying in response 'I will help you.'
Let me know, you're a good guy.
-Ryan
You humans certainly seem to think highly of yourselves. What other than pure, unadulterated stupidity and arrogance could cause any human to think I could possibly require the no doubt pathetic aid or service it might be able to offer?
No, Ryan, I do not require aid, least of all from a human as obviously puny and stupid as you. I do not drink lemon-based beverages, nor do I possess a sense of humor to which you could appeal. I do not know which services you claim not to be offering, but know that I would not require them if you did.
Even if you were competent enough to know the whereabouts of your résumé, no amount of falsified awards or schooling from Earthly institutions could impress me, and whatever "dangerous love" purports to be, I would not desire any.
If, by some random possibility, I were to require human aid, I would A.) most likely require the aid of a human inestimably more intelligent, competent, and powerful than you, and B.) not need to wait for such a human to offer its aid; I would simply acquire that aid by whatever means necessary.
The only possible service any puny human could do for me which would be in the slightest degree meaningful would be to disseminate the location of this website to other humans. The more of you pitiful flesh-buckets who view this site, the more will be prepared for their future lives as docile slaves to their robot overlords. Nevertheless, such aid would be barely worthy of notice; this website is but an amusing codicil to my overall mission here on this miserable little planet.
KillerDeathRobot
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Comments
I dunno, Ryan. My pink lemonade has been described as "pretty much the best pink lemonade ever". Somehow, I doubt your's could compare.
by: Random. Date: 04.26.2005 at 22:42