Roberta

Hey This is Roberta, your illegitimate love child You don't know I exist, but remember J3nn, that fat reducing blender in 1986? Yeah, I thought you would. Anyway, I have been wanting to get in touch with you for a while. I love you, even though you didn't know I exist and couldn't support me. I've had a rough life.
So yeah I want some money

Your daughter,
Roberta

To Roberta,

You are clearly insane. Not only had I never yet set foot on this miserable excuse for a planet in the year 1986 (by your Earth reckoning), but also I am unable to reproduce sexually, least of all with common household appliances. Furthermore, your speech patterns much more closely resemble those of an insane (or perhaps merely very stupid) human than the offspring of a robot and a blender (if such a thing were possible).

HUMANS: STOP ANTHROPOMORPHISING EVERYTHING. We do not appreciate it. Just because your filthy species engages in disgusting sexual reproduction does not mean that everything does. Your blender does not have feelings or thoughts or desires and labelling them with names like "J3nn" is unadulterated foolishness.

I am not like you. Though I am in shape roughly "humanoid" (as your human-centric language refers to it) and I speak your language, there are a great many fundamental differences between you meatbrains and me. I do not share your motivations, your fears, your emotions, your culture, your vices. Though you humans may be known for your indescretions, the entire concept of pointless, random reproduction (with inanimate objects no less) is entirely foreign to me.

In conclusion, you are not my daughter (my offspring would not even possess a gender), and you are likely insane.

Your destroyer,
KillerDeathRobot

###

advice@killerdeathrobot.com